Posted on October 06, 2012 in Child Custody

Despite recent pressure from various lobbying groups to formally classify parental alienation as a bona fide mental condition, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) has resisted from officially recognizing this hotly disputed concept by listing it as an official disease or syndrome in its updated Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). According to the Huffington Post, a spokesperson for the APA committee has commented that parental alienation is not a disorder that is within one individual, but, rather, a relationship problem between parents and children.

Parental alienation is a term often used by psychologists, consultants, and other professionals in divorce and child custody disputes to refer to how one parent acts in a manner so as to poison a child against the other parent, thus causing estrangement between the child and parent. This concept is not without controversy, however. Some advocates of the idea believe that it is a serious mental disorder that necessitates counseling and psychological treatment in both parents and children. On the other hand, opponents of the idea often dismiss it as a strategic concept used by men who are trying to deflect attention from their own abusive or otherwise inappropriate actions in an attempt to gain the upper hand in hotly contested custody proceedings.

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 Posted on October 03, 2012 in Divorce

There is a stereotype which exists that all divorces are preceded by huge fights involving screaming, yelling and crying. A new report has illuminated that it is not whether or not a couple fights but rather how they fight that creates the problem. The University of Michigan sponsored study

followed almost 400 married couples over the course of 16 years of marriage. Their main goal over the study was to find the kind of behaviors which lead to divorce.

The main risk factor to a healthy marriage is when one spouse tries to analyze the situation while the other partner withdraws. This behavior is often noticed as evidence of a lack of interest in the relationship, which can be very damaging. This is not to say that loud screaming matches are a sign that a relationship is healthier but rather that people must seek resolution. Constructive strategies often lead to healthier marriages.

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 Posted on September 29, 2012 in Division of Property

We are accustomed to hearing about famous couples breaking it off after a few weeks or months of marriage, but many of us thought that Heidi and Seal were a great pair. However, after seven years of marriage, they have decided to call it quits.

According to News Talk WTAQ.com, the gloves are off and both of them are talking. There are pictures that were released of Heidi looking cozy with her longtime bodyguard while vacationing in Italy with her family. Heidi reported to TMZ that nothing happened with the bodyguard while she was still with her husband. They announced their separation in January of this year and they both filed for divorce in April. Seal told People Magazine that he "thought Heidi would have shown a little more class and at least waited until we separated before deciding to fornicate with the help, as it were."

When the separation was first announced, they both didn't say too much and remained quiet about their differences but amidst the dispute over child custody and dividing of assets, things are bound to come out.

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 Posted on September 27, 2012 in Divorce

There are so many myths, contradictions and clichés when it comes to the subject of divorce. What do you say to a friend or acquaintance when you hear about the pending divorce proceedings? The first thing that comes to mind for most people is to say, "I'm sorry." Have you ever thought about why we say that? A divorce may be a good thing, closing chapter to a saga that was not meant to be.

Divorces are not always as dramatic and ugly as the ones that we hear about on television or in the papers. They are not always worthy of being made into a lifetime movie. However, one thing is always true about divorce: it is a change. How you choose to deal with it can make all the difference.

Many people report having "lost themselves" in the midst of trying to be the perfect spouse and parent during the marriage, and when the marriage is over and the children are visiting with the other parent, they are lonely and don't know what to do. This is the very feeling that can lead to destructive behaviors if not treated with care. Use this time to launch a mission to find yourself. Find out the things that you like to do, new hobbies or interests. You may have spent years caring for others; this is the time to be selfish. Spend a lazy day reading, gardening or even painting a picture.

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 Posted on September 24, 2012 in Division of Property

Many of us have have known or been involved with someone who has known a person who was not of sound mind. As reported by the Chicago Sun-Times, a local lawyer has had just this experience.

Christian met Alana through some friends who thought that the two would be a perfect match for each other. He was a 30 year old lawyer and she was a 25 year old dancer. He thought was gorgeous, and was smitten with her. As a matter of fact, he was so smitten that they married just six months after meeting.

Things appeared to be fine at first, but little by little she began turning Christian against his family and friends by making hints about their faults, and eventually playing the victim to their bad ways. She sabotaged all of his personal relationships with friends. She even would call them "on Christian's behalf", stating that they were bad people and telling them off.

Christian, wanting his marriage to work, remained oblivious to her eventual alienation of everyone from their lives. Christian stated that eventually he could no longer ignore the obvious. She began accusing him of having affairs and even stealing his belongings and money from him. She became physically abusive to the point of breaking his ribs, throwing knives and scissors and even boiling water in his face.

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 Posted on September 22, 2012 in Divorce

Some couples opt for a lengthy separation rather than an immediate divorce in the hopes that the burden and stigma of divorce is lessened, and each party can rebuild his or her own life before it's made official. Other couples facing the end of a marriage believe that it's best to divorce immediately, so as not to draw out what could be a long and painful process. A recent study written by Dmitry Tumin, a doctoral sociology student at Ohio State University, found that there are no major differences in the long-term sociological outcomes of either method of divorce, as might have been previously thought.

This is good news for couples that choose to remain separated instead of divorced. According to the American Sociological Association, a different report published by Tumin found that 15 percent of married couples who undergo long-term separations remain apart, without getting divorced or reconciling.

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 Posted on September 19, 2012 in Divorce

In what has proven to be one of the highest-profile murder cases to hit Chicago this year, in mid-September a jury in Joliet found Drew Peterson guilty of murdering his third wife, and sentenced him to 60 years in prison. The conviction in the case rested on the testimony of a divorce attorney, Harry Smith, who was employed by Peterson's fourth wife, Stacy. According to the Chicago Tribune, Stacy asked Smith if "she could get more money in a divorce if she threatened to tell police about her husband's role in Savio's death." Savio was Peterson's third wife. According to the Tribune, this was the straw, so to speak, that broke the camel's back and resulted in Peterson's conviction.

This, of course, is an extreme story of divorce proceedings going terribly wrong, but it's no secret that while going through a divorce ugly things from the past can reappear. If the divorce is particularly heated—or if both sides are very insistent, meaning that there's plenty of dirt on both sides—both sides need to be careful of what is allowed to come out in court.

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 Posted on September 17, 2012 in Divorce

In a surprising trend, recent data from the U.S. Census Bureau shows that although the West and South regions in America have the highest marriage rate, these regions also lead the nation in divorces, according to an article in the Huffington Post. "Maine, Alaska, Oklahoma, Kentucky and Nevada ranked at the top for divorces, while Utah, Wyoming and Arkansas—which had the highest marriage rates—were also higher than average in marital breakups." Andrew Cherlin, a John Hopkins University professor of sociology and public policy, told the Huffington Post that it was surprising that the regions thought to be more socially conservative have higher rates of divorce than the supposedly more liberal cities in the East.

According to the Illinois Department of Health, the number of divorces in Chicago has continued to decline from 2000 to 2009. This means that Chicago is similar to the big cities in the East that have showed lower divorce rates than their Southern and Western counterparts. According to Department of Health statistics, the total number of divorces in Illinois in 2009 was 32,460, including 91 annulments, as opposed to 72,821 marriages. This means that the divorce rate was only 2.5, as opposed to 3.2 in 2000.

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 Posted on September 11, 2012 in Child Custody

A recent study at the University of Missouri examined the increasing trend of divorcing couples of using texting, emails and social media as a way of communicating with each other about their children. Not surprisingly, the results show that when couples use this technology in a negative way, it's the children who suffer emotionally.

Lawrence Ganong, a professor of human development and family studies at MU, and his team interviewed 49 divorced couples, who were parents together, about their relationships with their former partner. For couples who had a cooperative relationship, the use of technology proved to be a benefit for communication and co-parenting. According to a report in the Daily News, some parents even came up with some unique and productive ideas, such as utilizing online calendars to share the children's schedule and activities. This proved to be a good way in ensuring that both parents were aware of events in the child's life such as parent-teacher conferences, sporting events, play dates etc.

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 Posted on September 08, 2012 in Child Custody

On November 25, 2008, Steven Watkins arrived at his ex-wife Jennifer's family home in Ashland to pick up their daughter for a court-ordered visit. The couple was in the process of divorcing and was involved in a custody battle over the toddler. But Steven Watkins never got to have his visit. Within moments of arriving, the 32 year-old father of two was lying dead on the living room floor, with a bullet in his head. The only adults home at the time of the murder were Jennifer and her grandmother, Shirley Skinner. Skinner, 76, was eventually arrested, tried and found guilty of first-degree murder and is currently serving a 55-year prison sentence.

Steven's murder and the subsequent court battle his parents have been fighting against Jennifer Watkins to see their granddaughter resulted in Senate Bill 3823, know as the "Steven Watkin's Bill". The bill was recently signed into law by Gov. Pat Quinn. The new law gives courts the power to revoke the driver's license, impose fines and even sentence jail time to anyone who interferes or denies visitation to a non-custodial parent without showing just cause.

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